<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>time stops still by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453659">time stops still</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blow Jobs, Gay Sex, Hotel Sex, M/M, Nipple Play, Smut, Unrequited Love, feitan is an angry little bastard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:48:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Feitan has had a crush on Shalnark for as long as he could remember; finally on a Troupe mission he gets to confess his feelings</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Feitan/Shalnark (Hunter x Hunter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>time stops still</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love Feitan and Shalnark together so I decided to write a fic w/ them!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loneliness was not a fun thing to experience. The feeling like nobody cares about you, cruel thoughts tearing you down, taking over your well-being. Feitan felt like this; the feeling of being all alone licking at his heart, tearing it to shreds.</p><p>He was not alone. He was always surrounded by friends, the Spider, yet that wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He could hang out with them, basking in their warmth and comfort, until the day he died, though that was the last thing he wanted. </p><p>What he did want was Shalnark; sweet, gentle, loving Shalnark. The only person that made him feel like his raw self. </p><p>Shalnark knew how to bring out the best aspects of Feitan’s vile, wicked personality. He knew all the ways to bring up Feitan’s spirit. To make his darkest days brighter with a light that could not be contained.</p><p>Feitan was in love with Shalnark.</p><p>Months and months passed without him hearing from Shalnark, yet the love that ignited a flame in his heart still burned with a passion.</p><p>Feitan craved Shalnark. He wanted to hear Shalnark’s voice whispering sweet nothings in his ear, he wanted to feel Shalnark’s body enveloping his in a warmth-filled embrace, he wanted to feel Shalnark’s lips on his. </p><p>At nights Feitan would lay awake thinking about the blonde. Thoughts of Shal touching him at night, hands roaming over his body, fingers running through his ink-black hair.</p><p>Feitan touched himself to these thoughts; some of them were full of lust and yearning. Oh how desperately he wished it was Shalnark jerking him off. As he reached his release, every time he felt a pang of disappointment inside of him. He would never come to such a state with Shalnark.</p><p>The cycle of loneliness and suffering would begin yet again. </p><p>Emptiness would overcome him.</p><p>Wanting and desire would clog up his thoughts, his work becoming sloppier as a result of it.</p><p>It was a pain really; not being able to be around the man you loved the most. Chrollo almost never paired them up for a mission together anymore. Feitan was always stuck alone, with Chrollo, or Phinks. It was a bore. The days dragged on, nothing striking Feitan’s interest.</p><p>Torture, a thing that once brought Feitan immense joy, was starting to feel like a chore. He hated it. He hated everything. </p><p>He needed the star in his night sky back. He was an empty shell of a man without Shalnark’s presence. Life wasn’t interesting any longer without the extra boost of happiness that Shalnark gave him.</p><p>Feitan started to grow more and more empty. He called Shalnark, hearing the soft click as Shalnark answered. Feitan never said anything, only became choked up. The words wouldn’t escape him, they never did, he kept his lips sealed.</p><p>Where would their relationship end up if Feitan confessed his feelings? Would Shalnark laugh it off like a joke? Surely not. Feitan wasn’t the type to joke around so casually. Was it possible that Shalnark would return the feelings and become Feitan’s boyfriend?</p><p>How foolish Feitan was. Thinking he could be with a man that never bothered to talk to him outside of missions. He didn’t even know if Shalnark was attracted to men, he just assumed. </p><p>Love was a dangerous thing; it could flourish and become something beautiful, or it could become a wicked ball of pent up emotions and feelings that overcame the mind, soul, and body. </p><p>Feitan should have never let his crush grow to such a point. It encompassed him. Taking over his entire life and purpose. No longer would he have thoughts of anything other than the pure angel that was Shalnark.</p><p>Besides, two men like them didn’t deserve love. They weren’t worthy of experiencing such a beautiful thing. They were thieves, killers, men rejected by society, and cast away from everywhere and everyone they had ever known. Feitan didn’t even know his own birthday; his mother had left him to rot in Meteor City. He would never get to experience a normal childhood with a loving family. The only family he had was a gang of murderers. How pathetic that must look from an outside eye.</p><p>And so, like a gift given from God himself, Feitan was paired up with Shalnark. They were to be by Chrollo’s side while the Boss completed an extravagant mission.</p><p>“Stay by side, keep an eye out for any suspicions. Kill everyone who interferes.”</p><p>Shalnark beamed with joy, as he always did, at the plan. Feitan’s eyes focused on Shalnark; admiring the smooth curves and rigid edges of the blonde’s body. Fern coloured eyes that Feitan often found himself looking into, glared back at him.</p><p>“Do you need anything?” Shalnark asked, eyebrows knitted in confusion. </p><p>You. Feitan thought. He shook his head and looked away. Feitan’s eyes always betrayed him; showing the world his desire for Shalnark, black eyes inspecting Shalnark before Feitan could even think. He needed to calm the fury of lustful feelings that roared inside of his head. </p><p>Shalnark never let these looks go without being noticed. He always made a comment, a joke complete with his hearty laugh. He did it to get a rise out of Feitan; to see pink light up his cheeks as he turned away in embarrassment. Shalnark was oblivious to Feitan’s crush even after all of the stolen glances. A pity how he couldn’t notice what was so obvious, clear as glass.</p><p>Being Shalnark’s boyfriend was such a far off goal that Feitan thought it deemed borderline impossible. All attempts he made at flirting came out futile, Shalnark shrugging him off.</p><p>Gentle tears streamed down Feitan’s pale cheeks. He held back ugly sobs, after all, Shalnark was right next to him in all of his glory. How desperately he wanted to let it all out right there, to sob into Shalnark’s chest, to be comforted by Shalnark.</p><p>Why would he never get what he wanted?</p><p>Feitan wiped his eyes, wetness painting a line down his palm.</p><p>What a cruel world Feitan lived in; never able to experience life as it was meant to be lived. He would never get to lose himself in Shalnark. Love would always be out of his grasp, backing further and further away from him.</p><p>Fuck it all.</p><p>Feitan wanted to torture Shalnark for making him feel such strong emotions. He wanted to watch as Shalnark crumbled beneath him as cuts sliced through the blondes’ thick skin, blood landing on the concrete ground below them. He wanted to tear Shalnark’s heart out and crush it between his fingers. He wanted to inflict the same pain on Shalnark as Shalnark had inflicted on him.</p><p>Shalnark was the sun to Feitan. Bright and cheerful; lighting up Feitan’s world. But underneath the positive exterior was something that Feitan hated. Light far too bright it burned Feitan, scorched his insides, tore him apart. </p><p>Feitan much rather preferred the moon, yet he couldn’t resist the bright orb of happiness that was Shalnark Ryuseih.</p><p>“Fei,” Shalnark put a hand on Feitan's shoulder. “Let’s go.”</p><p>Feitan made a small noise of disapproval. This mission was going to be a bore; it was the furthest thing from extravagant and Feitan’s torturing skills weren’t even needed. The only good part of it was Shalnark.</p><p>Damn. Feitan wanted the blonde and badly.</p><p>Feitan dozed off as he, Shalnark, and Chrollo moved deep into the bustling crowd. Their designation was up ahead; a tall building that cast a shadow over them. People walked in and out of the buildings, in a hurry, briefcases in their hands.</p><p>A low hum of chatter could be heard as they entered the building, cold air smacking them in the face. Serene music played throughout the lobby. A hotel? Feitan furrowed his eyebrows. The big mission Chrollo needed assistance with was taking place in a hotel?</p><p>Chrollo grabbed a keycard and led them into the elevator. He had booked two rooms; one for Feitan and Shalnark to share and one all to himself. He always did this; much to Feitan’s dismay. There was nothing Fei hated more than having to share a bed with another member of the Troupe.</p><p>The room wasn’t partially beautiful; a king-sized bed with bland white sheets tucked in at the corners, a singular table in the center of the room with a fake apple place atop it, a TV mounted on the wall, and a side bathroom. </p><p>It did smell good though; like toffee and caramel.</p><p>Shalnark set his things on the table before jumping into bed in excitement. Feitan smiled. Shalnark always did that whenever he got a new bed. He loved the feeling of clean sheets and layers of thick mattress. </p><p>Feitan didn’t have much on him; only a change of clothes and his umbrella.</p><p>Outside Feitan could see the sun setting; a vibrant painting of reds, oranges, and purples lighting up the sky. He looked out the window before sliding into the bed. </p><p>“Chrollo says to get some sleep before the mission tomorrow,” Shalnark beamed, opening the bathroom door. Feitan looked at the blonde before turning on the TV. Feitan flipped the channels until he found a particularly gruesome horror film. </p><p>The gentle pattering of water from Shalnark’s shower could be heard over the screams of victims. Feitan stared at the screen in awe; blood and guts covered the screen. Fictional victims died at the hands of a masked man. Though it was completely unrealistic; real-life people would not die so easily; Feitan still loved it regardless. He was a sucker for all things evil and cruel.</p><p>The water stopped and Shalnark stepped into the room, towel loosely tied at his hips. Water dripped down his chest and abs. Feitan’s eyes widened as Shalnark came closer.</p><p>“Don’t mind me, just grabbing some clothes,” Shalnark grinned.</p><p>“I would much rather prefer you have no clothes on,” Feitan blurted. He put a hand to his mouth in shock. How could he say such a thing so casually? Before he knew it the words had left his mouth.</p><p>“Oh, really?” Shalnark moved closer to Feitan, lifting up the little man’s chin with a finger. Feitan gulped. Shalnark moved on top of him, water dripping onto Feitan’s face and neck. </p><p>“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you fawning over me for the past few months,” Shalnark nibbled the side of Feitan’s neck, sucking and biting. “It’s kind of cute seeing you all flustered and horny for me.”</p><p>Feitan could feel his dick growing as Shalnark played with him. </p><p>“To be honest, I’ve been in love with you too,” Shalnark pressed his lips to Feitan’s, biting Feitan’s lower lip as he did. Feitan let out a gentle moan. </p><p>“Lie?” Feitan murmured.</p><p>“Truth,” Shalnark promised. “I’ve waited for months to see you again. Now I can have you all to myself,” Shalnark smiled before taking off his robe. His dick sprung out in excitement. </p><p>Shalnark’s hands found the bottom of Feitan’s shirt and it was promptly thrown off the short man. Fingers danced up Feitan’s chest, to his mouth, brushing over Fei’s lower lip with the pad of his thumb.</p><p>Feitan’s mouth went agape, allowing Shalnark access to his mouth. </p><p>Shalnark slid his tongue in Feitan’s mouth. Fuck, Shalnark tasted so good. Feitan was losing himself in him, melting into Shalnark like a marshmallow over an open flame. He couldn’t get enough of the blonde. Feitan grabbed a handful of blonde locks and pull Shalnark closer into him.</p><p>Their bare chests touched; skin on beautiful skin. Shalnark tucked a piece of Feitan’s ink-black hair behind his ear. His lips trailed behind Feitan’s ear and down his neck. Feitan’s knees became weak, his body turning into a sloppy mush at Shalnark’s gentle movements and whispered words of endearment. The restriction is his pants were starting to become unbearable. He needed them off and fast. </p><p>“Oh my, you’re already such a mess. Whimpering for me,” Shalnark’s fern eyes met Feitan’s, staring into the depths of his soul. Feitan couldn’t even deny his attraction to Shalnark was growing by the second. Arousal was pooling in his stomach. Lust and desire making his head a foggy mess. He could no longer stay focused; Shalnark was the only thing accompanying his mind.</p><p>He was giddy at the thought of Shalnark fucking him already. Shalnark’s dick thrusting into him, nimble fingers touching him in all the right places. </p><p>Their lips met in a frenzy; a mess of tongues and lips and teeth. Shalnark’s hands fumbled to Feitan’s pants, groaning in impatience while he threw them off. </p><p>“How badly do you want this?” Shalnark asked.</p><p>“So bad…” Feitan trailed off.</p><p>“Beg for it,” Shalnark demanded.</p><p>Feitan wasn’t the type to take commands from anyone except his Danchou, but he was so lured in by Shalnark, he would do practically anything.</p><p>“Shal, please, fuck me now, fuck me until I lose all feeling in my legs. Fuck me so hard I wake up sore in the morning, covered in little bruises.” Feitan moaned.</p><p>“Oh my, you really think I’ll let you get my dick so easily? You have to work for it.” Shalnark laughed. “Suck my dick like a good little slut.” </p><p>Feitan obeyed, putting the tip of Shalnark’s dick into his mouth. He licked along the side, eliciting a small mewl of pleasure from Shalnark. He began to go up and down, taking more and more each time. It hit the back of his throat and gags threatened to escape his mouth.</p><p>Feitan licked the small bit of precum that had begun to form on the slit. Shalnark was already moaning like whore.</p><p>“I thought you were the one in control here?” Feitan teased before going back down.</p><p>“I-” Shalnark let out a mewl as Feitan pumped again.</p><p>Feitan’s pace got faster—squeals and moans escaping Shalnark—and Feitan took control. A devilish grin spread across Feitan’s face; he was starting to enjoy himself.</p><p>Shalnark’s release slid down Feitan’s throat; warm and salty.</p><p>Feitan sought his own release. He stroked his cock; feeling his climax coming. And when it did he rode the waves of it. His cum landed to the side of Shalnark’s panting chest. </p><p>Feitan wasn’t done. He still wanted to play with Shalnark.</p><p>Feitan splayed his hands on either side of Shalnark’s waist, lowering his head. He sucked the blonde’s nipples, nipping and licking, tongue swirling over the bud. Shalnark’s cheerful demeanor had long since vanished; Feitan was making him feel so many emotions, from lust to pleasure. </p><p>Seeing Shalnark in such a disheveled state—blonde hair ruffled, pleasured expression, a thin layer of sweat dripping down his chest—was turning Feitan on. </p><p>Feitan squeezed Shalnark’s nipple bud, eliciting a scream from the other man. </p><p>Their mouths crashed into one another yet again; tongue on tongue. Feitan moaned into Shalnark’s mouth.</p><p>Gasping for air, Feitan spoke.</p><p>“I love you,” He panted.</p><p>Shalnark took a minute to consider his words before speaking.</p><p>“I love you too,”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, reviews appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>